i've been going through this over and over and over again. i hate this kinda nights, i am all alone and there is no one to talk to.

i had a nice day, slept half way through terminator. had family day. had a talk with the guys and it rather helped.


maybe i should sleep.

megan mcisaac,

lately i have been receiving emails from people that do not agree with the way they perceive that i live my life, whether it be about the fact that i applied for food stamps, my unemployment situation, my nude portraits, or whathaveyou. i am not going to justify or defend my actions, i feel absolutely no need to do so. i am not going to tell you how much you need to learn about empathy, being understanding, or even being open minded, that is your life and your choice. what i am going to say is that no matter what, no matter who you are or who you think you are, you have absolutely no right to judge me or anyone else by what you think you know of them based on the small amount of information that they share about themselves with the public, whether you think you know them personally or they are someone you simply know of. no matter how similar of a situation you have been in, you do not know what they have gone through or are going through. whether poor or wealthy, unknown or well known, ill or healthy, no one has a perfectly “easy life.” everyone goes through hardships, everyone makes mistakes, everyone deserves at least a little common decency. if you spend the amount of time that you talk shit about others or tried to bring others down through emails, messages, or to their face by instead listening to people or at least hoping that they will learn from what you think are their mistakes, you might notice that everyone has a reason for what they do. spend time learning from your own mistakes and try being that person that you think is a “good” person and listening to people instead of blabbing on about yourself.

i make mistakes, i in no way think that i am more deserving of things than anyone else. i try my best to learn from my mistakes, that is why i am out here living and doing what i do. i have my own reasons and my own hardships. i am grateful for every single thing that i have, whether i worked my ass off for it or it was given to me. if what i have to say or do bothers you in any way then simply do not read my blog or pretend to be my friend or anything of the sort. you have the ability to simply ignore me, and i am okay with that. i understand that some people just don’t like eating pears and might not ever like them, but if you don’t like eating pears the least you could do is recognize that there are people out there that list pears as their favourite fruit and maybe even try listening to why they love them so much. it doesnt mean you have to start eating pears after they voice their opinion, but at least you know why they like them so much.

dear decisions,

i am sorry. i should have known better because i know how it felt. it a deadly venom of denial and pain.

you'll get through it, i know you will. i have faith in you.

i remember when i was so madly in love with you. your name was the only apparition in my blank mind. you gave me light and shone it to my dark misty path. i just wished i could remember you more now. i'm actually wishing you would appear suddenly to my door and tell me "i'm home, baby" with this cheeky grin upon your boyish features. i'd like to brush your hair once more with my fingers and stay in that position my whole life if i could. my first love, my only love. you were just perfect, no other can deny or change that. you had multiple personalities and you confused me. and yet, once you utter sweet nothings, everything changed. the world collapsed into an abyss of void.

there lies in that void, you and i. we were holding hands like that was the only thing that mattered, touch and sweet longing. i begin to hug you and listen to your beating heart, knowing that it beats with love. you were the purest of them all and no divine being can deny otherwise. you brought beauty and laughter to everyone's life. i was the luckiest of them all but i was blind. blindly in love till i couldn't see such heinous deeds. but now, you got missing. you disappeared in such a way that your absence makes me blame myself that i was wrong for your disappearance.

i still wish you were still here to wipe my tears and tell me everything was indeed alright.
-------------------------------------------------------------

a story bout a girl who lost a love and drowns herself in a pool of pain.

I LOST MY ONLY FRIENDS!

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa *cries*

500th post

and i feel like trash. oh my. i don't know why i suddenly like this. i guess it's the lack of people around me and also my sprained ankle. not a pretty sight! so saturday is family day -_-" the anxiety of waiting isn't that OOMPH like last year or any other year.

i need a hug

purple wonders

purple wonders
Originally uploaded by Mina R.

one of my piece from a normal digital camera, sony dsc-w35

note to self- never leave laptop unattended with Zephyr.

great, i sprained my ankle -_-"

i am almost always lethargic everytime i come back from school

i was watching some eyeliner tutorial- FAIL.

so here i am in my grandma's room, stranded. eating a few weeks old sundae i forgot to eat. delaying my karangan just to go online. i don't feel so bad

you people have not done deed to me, i have been taken advantage all this while and i can still care for you guys? i must be losing my mind all over again.

it's difficult. wait wait, it is NOT difficult. it is fairly easy! the easiest thing i can come up with. i am so sick of being the goody2shoes. all i get is a step on the neck. and why do i still tolerate this? cause i am such a bloody fool.

you want it back, you ask for it. and you guys, i don't need you guys. one more thing i need are pussies looping around my back. if we ever do, it'll be very different and i am looking forward for a change. being surrounded by people with lack of common sense and just extreme daftness, i think i am the unfortunate being here. trying to make everyone's place a better place when they refrain from hearing. good riddance, hear hear.

i have precisely 739 photographs to delete and upload from the futsal tournament. oh my great God.

thank you, seniors. -_-"

i suppose, hearing someone's opinion is a crime now?

convince me otherwise.

a poem by celine ng,

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Skies are grey
in my world
because of you.

i like you so
but i guess you will never know,
i think of you still
even knowing;
you will never be there.

Knowing you will never care
the love i feel for you
will always be there;
the tears i cried for you,
the time i devoted to you,
all goes in vain.

At the end,
when the day is through,
my love for you,
is still here waiting for you.

*cries*

i love you, yulia
i love you, celine
i love you, erna
i love you, kay


go to hell. HAHA

kay, i love you so much. thank you so much for being there for me today. i am so grateful and you are a wonderful being. i don't know what i'll do without you.

i love you so much!

there you are hurt by and thinking of another whereas i am here, hurt by you and thinking of you.

ironic, silly and heart wrenching.

This is a woman who tends to get what she wants, one way or another, and she is usually attracted to a mate who behaves in a dominant and forceful manner. Indeed, any show of insecurity is a definite "turn-off" for the Aries woman.

Here, a mate must be prepared to give more than he or she receives since Aries subjects tend to believe that they rule the world. They are also apt to indulge in displays of childish tantrums, which must be ignored...firmly but politely...until the situation has been given time to cool down.

his is a woman who tends to get what she wants, one way or another, and she is usually attracted to a mate who behaves in a dominant and forceful manner. Indeed, any show of insecurity is a definite "turn-off" for the Aries woman.

maybe try to understand me a little better, the ram.

i'm tired leave me alone

this year was about you two.

2009 wouldn't be 2009 if it wasn't for egoism and decisions.

it fits you both so well. i mean i love you both, so much.

i just wish you both loved me back. and maybe try to understand that i may also have a heart.

compatibility?